Fridays are a regular work day, with the only exception I take Mal with me since there is no pre-school on Fridays. Then, home at noon for lunch and a little down time before returning to the church for the after school program, Kid Krossing (or KK from now on, its easier to type). Then done for the day at 6pm.
Only, today was different. I worked late, didn't get home from first job until 1pm, which is no big deal unless you have a cranky and hungry 4 year old. Then it's a big deal. Then, back to church by 3pm, where not only did we have 17 kids, but I also had to mop the gym floor (did I mention I'm also church custodian? came with the secretary job) AND finish folding the bulletins for Sunday. Then, I ran a meal over to Cori's house, followed by a trip into Hutch for Christopher's viewing (more on this in a bit), followed by returning to the church to finish the floor and clean the bathrooms in preparation for tomorrows BIG pancake/sausage feed fundraiser. Throw in one, still-a-bit-cranky 4 year old, a very limited supper, and the confusion of seeing her friend laying down and not waking up, and it makes for a trying day.
Christophers viewing. There is nothing at all right about seeing a child in a casket. There is nothing right about seeing funeral flower arrangements with comic book characters in them. There is nothing right about the size of a childs cakset.
But, he looked good. He looked like himself. My grandma, whose death I've yet to allow myself to really deal with this past November, didn't look much like herself. I mean, she sort of did, but not really. But Topher, he looked good. I'm ok with that memory, but am glad of the one I have of when I watched him a few months back and he sat on one of my living room chairs and watched me do dishes. I remember his smile and the way he and Mallie connected, one innocent to another. The way they could make each other smile.
I had to explain that Topher wouldn't be waking up. When granny passed, I told her she was up in Heaven with Jesus. That was a comfort to her, probably more so than me because of her innocent and full acceptance. It's the adults that really have trouble with the full-on faith stuff. But, where I oops-ed was in saying that only old men and old women go to heaven. Now, I've got to back track and explain that sometimes, when someone gets really, really sick and the doctors try to fix them but Jesus wants them to go to heaven instead, so they go. I don't how much she understood, and I think in time she'll not ask about Topher, but I really don't know. Sometimes she surprises me with what she retains, understands and really grasps.
To help me cope with the sudden death of my friend's child, I have organized dinners for them for the next week or so. And I'm watching Cori's nieces' for her brother and sister-in-law during the service tomorrow. This means I won't be going, but I'll be where I'm needed most, which is where I want to be. Helping to alleviate some of the day to day stresses that can seem overwhelming, like meals, is one way I can help ease a part of the burden she's carrying.
Boy, I'm beat. Praying for Cori and Matt as they say one last goodbye to their son, Christopher 'Topher' Michael Henderson, tomorrow. May God be with you and comfort you, my dear friends.
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